Can I Get Your Prayers Today?

My children and I (pre-surgery): 2/2009

Today I'm hoping to get some answers... to something that has been a problem for me for the past two years now.  Yes.  TWO YEARS.     I have never blogged about this because I didn't want to seem like a whiner.  I also didn't want to give this problem enough "air time" (so to speak) because it really makes me mad to give it too much thought!   

Some of you who have read my blog from the beginning know that I struggled with a difficult abdominal surgery a little over two years ago.   Once I was recovered (which took longer than expected) I took a celebratory trip to Six Flags with my kids.  I was feeling just like my old self again.  I even rode a few roller coasters (tame ones).  Lo and behold, the next day I woke up and  my lower back would ache, and sometimes the pain would travel all down my leg and into my foot.  In the beginning we thought it might just be a pulled muscle or a simple herniated disc.  No such luck.     

My crazy family and I the week before surgery:  4/2009

I didn't start homeschooling my daughter right when I wanted to because I thought I didn't feel well enough to tackle everything.   Once I saw that my back pain was going to be "chronic", I decided to take her out of public school.  I could either be in pain and worried about her education, or be in pain and take control of her education.

Like I said, that was two years ago.    Since that time I have been to physical therapy, had an MRI, gotten four epidural shots for my back (none helped), seen a chiropractor, tried yoga, gotten massages, and NOTHING has helped.  I have had the diagnosis of "herniated disc" (but not bad enough for surgery), sciatica, and last time the doctor even talked about arthritis.  REALLY?  I went from being a perfectly healthy 37 year old with no surgeries ever, to approaching my 38th birthday with a tough surgery under my belt and chronic back pain.  

Did I also mention that during this time my mother was hospitalized for heart problems, my father had a horrible time after a hip replacement, there was a major divorce in our family (which I will never blog about for privacy reasons), and my parents made the decision to move into a continuing care community?   I felt like I had aged at least 10 years in the span of 1.   

May 2009... I had lost 20 lbs after surgery and was still shaky

I am basically in pain all day every day, but with the help of my pain doctor I have learned to manage it.   No, I'm not addicted to pain killers or anything like that, but I do take medication and wish I didn't.   I'm not as active as I once was, and I know it has really affected my mood.  Other than homeschool and teaching piano (which are two big enough commitments as it is) I have reduced other commitments to a minimum so that I can feel well for what is most important.    

Pain is a funny thing - you learn to deal with it over time and you can't remember what it was like to feel 100% good.   From the moment I had excruciating pain from my ovarian cysts (February 2009) up until now I've never woken up and felt GOOD.   (I'm just so thankful my "suspicious" cysts were benign... the surgery was because they were so big and could have been cancerous.  I have never been so scared.)  It's exhausting, but I try to look for my blessings and this life that I lead is wonderful in all other regards.  

I guess, looking back at the past two years, I've been somewhat depressed.   I was always such a joyful and upbeat person, and (to the outside world) I still appear to be that way.  My sweet sweet husband and children, however, know a different story.  I have only opened up about this to just a couple of good friends.   After all, who wants to hear my problems when people have so many of their own these days? 

April, 2011.. my crazy and fun kids keep me going!

Today I am getting another MRI.   It has been 18 months since the last one... I'm hoping something has changed (my doctor suspects it has) and that there is something more "clear cut" that is wrong.   In talking to a good friend of mine on the phone the other day she also told me about a doctor who has had great results with back pain ~ she knows him personally and it turns out his wife is my dentist!   So, once these MRI results are in I'm making an appointment with a new doctor to see if we can figure this out. I'm also wondering is seeing a more holistic doctor might now be the way to go?  

My reason for blogging about this today is to ask you to please pray for me.  Please pray for wisdom for the doctor reading the MRI films and for wisdom and guidance for me as I navigate the tricky world of neurologists, pain doctors, and any other specialists I don't know about yet!    Please also pray that a new medication I am on (because the "best" medication for me was going to $200/month through my insurance - yikes!) to work as well as another one I have been taking.   I am praying that maybe someone will read this and have had a similar experience that can offer me some advice and wisdom I haven't heard yet.   God works in miraculous ways, and I'm counting on the fact that I WILL feel better!  


Thanks for always reading my blog, and I promise I'll be back to blogging about good homeschool stuff next week!  

Read Aloud Thursday - We Just Can't Get Enough!

I can't begin to describe how a wonderful story makes me feel.  Even better is sharing a wonderful story with my children and watching their faces light up and having them beg me to keep reading!   We've been reading A LOT this summer, and I'm just cherishing these times of us laying together sharing some awesome literature.    


It took my six year old a while to work up to listening to longer books.   Now that he is an avid Lego builder we are reading for much longer spurts.  We simply park ourselves with his Legos and he is content to listen for long periods of time while I read.  My almost 10 year old daughter could lay and listen for hours.  (Children are so different, aren't they?)


Read Aloud Thursday is the link up I look forward to the most.   I'm thankful for Amy's blog, Hope is the Word, and her great book recommendations.  When I visit Amy's site there is always something I can USE and it's packed with solid educational information!    Click over to Hope is The Word to see what other people are reading this week.




This week  we continue to be completely enthralled with the 26 Fairmount Avenue series.   We finished the first three books in the series a few weeks ago, and read the next two in just two days earlier this week!   In What a Year and Things Will Never Be The Same, Tomie dePaola has  a way of writing that grabs my children from the very first sentence.   Tomie as a six year old boy was just so precocious and sweet... with fears, dreams and antics that my children just seem to "get".   


 I also love the way he gives such a rich view of the times in which he was living (in these two books 1940-41).... from Scarlet Fever quarantines to Roosevelt's polio, culminating in the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941.    I wonder what it would be like for my parents to read these books to my children, since they grew up in exactly those times.  It is an era when children came home from school for lunch and radio shows were great entertainment.   It was also an era of great fear for our country and loved ones.   I imagine what we felt  on September 11th, 2001 and the days that ensued were quite similar.  


We are fortunate to live just 45 minutes from Roosevelt's Little White House in Warm Springs, GA.   It is a great place to visit and is still a working rehabilitation center today.   I have scheduled a field trip for us there next week, so we can really step back in time with these books.    I'm thinking about asking my father-in-law to come along with us, because he remembers FDR traveling by train through this area when he was a little boy - he talks about seeing him on the train and waving to him.   I just love how we can make history almost come alive for our children!


At a book sale today I also picked up our read-aloud for when we finish the 26 Fairmount Avenue Series.   I've heard so much about this book and can't wait to start it with the kids.   Have you read this one ~ The Indian In The Cupboard?  

I'm soaking up these days reading to my children, because (as my daughter's 10 birthday is approaching on Saturday) I realize they aren't going to be with me forever and one day I will MISS THESE TIMES.