Please Stop Homeschooling the Children

One week ago I was compiling the weekly homeschool roundup.

Today I am advising people to stop homeschooling the children.

Our world literally changed overnight; the segment of the population that probably feel that most intensely are the children.

Have you seen the memes going around about parents who have been thrust into homeschooling because the schools are closed? What about the new hashtag - #suddenlyhomeschoolers ?

Has this hit anyone else as strange? Does it make your heart hurt not only for the children whose regular school schedule has been torn out from underneath them, but also for those of us who have been home educating for a long time?

The homeschool blogging community was quick to jump in to help people who found themselves at home with their children. This is what we do. We help people.

I think in those efforts, however, something is being done to the definition of homeschooling, and unrealistic and unfair pressure is being put on so many parents.

Stop Homeschooling the Children

Yesterday I sat down and shared my heart on video (Watch it here - I feel like I express myself best this way!)

The response was overwhelming. So many people messaged me to virtually nod their heads in agreement. Stop Homeschooling the Children!

• Homeschooling is NOT school at home.

  Sitting down with a pile of work assigned from the school is NOT homeschooling.

  We know that homeschool is a lifestyle of learning, not replicating a “school” environment at home. It takes a period of time for children who have been in school (it’s called deschooling) to see their parents as an educational figure - to develop that relationship of shared inquisitiveness and lifelong learning.

  Let’s be very careful. The definition of homeschool matters, and it is quickly being redefined by an entire country - with the help of the homeschool community.

• Children don’t need schoolwork now.

  Children need love, stability, and safety. They need games, books, movies, walks outside, laughter, art, and music.

  I’ve seen so many parents who are feeling stressed because the school is “requiring” work to be completed during this time. This just breaks my heart. These are YOUR CHILDREN. Stick up for them. Do what is best for them.

  What is best for our children right now isn’t assuming the stress of “getting it all done for when we go back to school”.

  The question of whether online schooling now is even legal is being raised.

• Parents need grace and support.

  If you know someone who is suddenly in the position of not going to their job and staying home with their school-age children all day, encourage them the best you can. Offer up ideas that have worked with your children. Loan them your favorite read alouds, games, and educational toys.

  Point them to resources online that can keep their children busy and exposed to things of beauty at the same time.

  I put a free SQUILT LIVE! lesson on Facebook last Wednesday and it was a huge success. Parents could take a break and their children could have some fun and maybe learn something, too. Did you see that Andrew Peterson is doing a nightly read-aloud of the first book in his Wingfeather Saga?

What About Homeschooling For Homeschoolers?

We have an entire layer of normal now that many other families don’t have, right?

This isn’t new to us. We’re used to being at home with our kids. But even this situation is different. We’re stuck inside, co-ops are canceled, our children are feeling isolated, and nerves are getting frayed.

I would suggest we give ourselves and our children loads of grace during this time, too.

My husband is teaching my son his way around the kitchen. My daughter and I are taking up watercolors using this fun book.

We’re watching mindless, funny movies. I’m reading a ton of books. My son is taking apart his LEGO sets and building new creations.

I’m praying for our world right now.

I’m specifically praying for the children - and all of us in this Homegrown Learners community. We’ve been through a lot together on this blog, and we will get through this, too.

Grace. Patience. Humor. Perseverance. Prayer.

And remember - be careful of how you throw around the word HOMESCHOOL!

How are you feeling right now? Let’s talk about this in the comments below.

I so value your thoughts.

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Making Space for Quiet in Your Homeschool

Everyone needs QUIET.

A homeschool functions better when there are opportunities and spaces for quiet - for both parents and children.

In our world of technology, activity, mobility, and opportunity, a quiet home is often an anomaly. Surely there must be something we should be DOING? Surely there is somewhere we should be GOING?

I find it interesting that the thing I thought I would miss most when we started homeschooling (stretches of quiet) is the very thing I found (after I’d been homeschooling a few years) I could cultivate MORE effectively because I had my children under my roof to educate and guide them.

My strategies for creating spaces and times for quiet aren’t revolutionary, but I believe we need to be reminded - and, if you will, be given permission to be quiet.

Rest is good. Quiet is good. Stillness in good.

Don’t believe the lie that being the busiest or most involved family on the block is best. It might just be a sign that you aren’t comfortable with quiet.

All of our souls need quiet for creativity, contemplation, and compassion. We need to be comfortable with who we are and we must be comfortable in our silence.

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• Have a Homeschool Routine

I was never a scheduled homeschool mom. One of the luxuries of homeschooling was that we didn’t have to be slave to a “schedule”. I did, however, always have a routine.

Because of this routine my children knew that we would read aloud after breakfast, and math came next. They knew that after lunch we would have time to work on one subject, and then at 1:30 (or thereabouts) each day we would have quiet time.

Children crave predictability and routine. They love structure. During those times when our routine was most steady I noticed fewer temper tantrums, more creativity, and increased sanity for ME! I don’t have any scientific data to back it up, but I firmly believe a homeschool routine inspired quiet!

• Make Quiet Time a Priority

I’ve written before about why homeschool mamas need quiet time.

This was a hard and fast time in our home until my youngest was about 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes after lunch the kids would/could nap. Other times they just needed to stay in their rooms and occupy themselves quietly.

Initially, this takes training (and sometimes force!), but it is a gift you can give your children. And then guess what? When kids are having quiet, YOU can have quiet, too. Read a book, organize a cabinet, take a nap - whatever recharges you - make time to do it during quiet time.

• Tame the Technology

This is probably the biggest hurdle to jump, isn’t it?

Even if you put away devices for an official “quiet time”, everyone’s brains are still running on overdrive because of the stimulation they have previously received from devices.

I would suggest to you that you strictly limit the technology in your homeschool. Can you homeschool with little to no technology at all? Or, if you feel that using technology is a skill you want your children to master, choose a few things of beauty that your children take part in online (how about joining me in my SQUILT Music Appreciation classes online?).

• Incorporate the Arts

Our souls are at rest when we have been exposed to things of beauty.

Have you ever done one of Nana’s Chalk Pastel tutorials? She has such a quiet, calm, and simple way of helping children create something of beauty.

What about music? Simply turning on a Spotify Mozart station can create a relaxing atmosphere in your home. Or, incorporating Super Quiet UnInterrupted Listening Time (SQUILT) monthly listening calendars such a simple to daily incorporate music into your life.

A vibrant arts education in your homeschool can help your children be comfortable with quiet - and also enables them to be quiet as they are creating.

• Strew Quiet Toys & Books Through Your Home

I was always a big fan of strewing when my children were younger.

strew (verb): to scatter or spread (things) untidily over a surface or area.

Our children need gentle guidance towards things that inspire quiet.

Keep a stock of games and toys your children can use alone. Make sure you make frequent library visits and strew books about what you are currently studying around the house.

Children can be gently tempted to stop and play, read, and wonder. It is a beautiful thing.

• Get Outside and Wonder (and be LOUD)!

In order to inspire more quiet, you have to provide opportunities for your children to be WILD and LOUD!

Do you remember that homeschool routine you have? Be sure to incorporate a lot of physical activity, nature walks, and time to just be outside and explore! If our children are worn out, happy, and have eliminated a lot of frustrations through physical activity, then making space for quiet, later on, will be infinitely easier.

Don’t forget Nature Study - you might enjoy The 3 Rs of Nature Study if your need EASY ideas.

And, unstructured play outside if good - I routinely told my kids to go outside and play in the woods! I was amazed at how much better our days were when this could be part of the routine.

• The Self-Discipline to Say NO

Finally, we need to get off the hamster wheel. Our children will never be comfortable with quiet if they are too busy and frazzled.

You don’t have to take part in every activity your best homeschool friends take part in. If you don’t feel it is in your family’s best interest for your child to play an organized sport, DON’T DO IT. Saying no may be hard in the moment, but the freedom it brings in the long-term is liberating.

You can start creating space for quiet TODAY in your homeschool. I promise. It’s worth it.

Do you have a way you gain quiet in your homeschool?

Share it with me in the comments below.

You might also like:

Why Watch the Birds?

3 Keys to a Successful Homeschool