Blog

Teaching Children to Work Together

Here is the reality of life in America today: 

We are too caught up in being against something rather than being FOR something. 

Hence, we are living in a society where many have forgotten how to put their self interest aside and simply work together.

All it takes is a quick scan of Facebook and you will see people ranting about what they are AGAINST. 

This morning, as part of a math lesson about scale, my son constructed a model of Freedom 7 - which carried Alan Shepard into space.

Because he is also taking an astronomy class and our science focus this year is space, he was very interested in this - so we fell down a rabbit hole watching videos about the first American in space.

In an interview, Alan Shepard's daughter said her dad never said anything was HARD...he would only say it was a challenge. She also spoke about the competition between the 7 astronauts to be the first to go into space for their country, and when her dad was chosen the others were proud of him and all competition ceased. They all worked toward one goal for the benefit of their country.

After this video ended my son looked and me and said "too bad our country isn't like that any more."

Wow. Profound from a perceptive 12 year old.

I wasn't sure whether to be proud of his observation or saddened by the truth of it - I guess I am both.  This observation, however, just spurs me on to be the best homeschooling parent I can be. 

How do we raise children that have that Alan Shepard spirit?  How do we raise children that want to work  TOGETHER for something beautiful, good, and truthful, rather than simply shout from the rooftops how unfair life is and how upset they are?

 

Teaching Children to Work Together (in an age where they see adults working against one another)

This is why we homeschool.  

We cannot abdicate the development of our children to anyone else. 

We have an amazing opportunity to develop a sense of fairness, justice, and compassion in our children -- for them to really ACT on these ideas, not just protest about them.  We have an opportunity to raise young men and women who will influence the coming generations in untold ways. 

We have an opportunity to raise humble people who look first to the interests of others, rather than themselves.

It is IMPORTANT.  It is a way to change the world. 

I am optimistic for the future and the leaders we are training in our homeschools! 

So, let's talk about what we can actually DO.

 

Is It True, Beautiful, and Good?

As Classical homeschoolers this is our mantra, but it applies to everything in life.

Does everything you are providing for your children pass the truth, beauty, and goodness litmus test?  Really think about this one.  (I mean, REALLY think about it.)

Teaching Children to Work Together

Think about the following things - are you striving to give your children only the most true, beautiful, and good things in the following areas? 

  • literature
  • music
  • art
  • media
  • entertainment
  • relationships

I don't buy the argument that we can't shelter our children from the world. Oh yes, we can, and I believe it is my responsibility to do so. 

Giving a child free reign of technology, media, and other adult things is not only developmentally inappropriate, it also assumes so very little of them.  I get that it's much easier to plop your child down in front of the Disney Channel rather than come up with a few independent activities for them to do in place of watching television, but this is what we must do to keep truth, beauty, and goodness first in their lives.

(As always, I'm writing this post as a reminder to myself. I'm still a work in progress.)

As you go about your day with your children, ask yourself if what you are doing promotes truth, beauty and goodness.  You might be very surprised by the answer.

This book is currently on my nightstand - looking forward to delving into learning more about truth, beauty and goodness.

 

Seek Mentors

A tremendous benefit to homeschooling is that we can seek out mentors for our children (and sometimes ourselves, too!).  You would be amazed at the number of WILLING adults who are happy to build into our children's lives. 

I have been intentional about placing adults in my children's lives that will build into, support, and encourage them. 

I've had two aunts and a  friend teach my daughter to quilt - and in the process impart some beautiful life lessons. 

Currently, my daughter is working with a woman in our church who heads a special needs ministry. Anna is able to learn so much and is forming a bond with another adult (who isn't her parent!). 

Most recently my husband and son (and several of their friends) have been learning the ancient art of forging from a dear man in our church. This man is teaching many local boys the art of forging. They are making crosses to distribute all over the world, and in the process he imparts his faith, life lessons, and so much more. 

Seeking mentors for our children: learning the ancient art of forging

You can look for mentors within your church, your homeschool community - anywhere, really!  If you see someone who is doing something you would like to have your children learn, ask them if they would be willing to teach them. You might be surprised at the reaction you will get!

 

Finding Mentors for our Children

Provide Examples from the Past

Reading aloud to our children about heroes from the past is such a powerful way to teach them about mightiness, working together, and heroic and noble qualities. 

Now that my children are older we don't read aloud quite as much, but I do give them hero books to read on a regular basis.  

I've written about how to teach your children about heroes of the Christian faith. Included below are also some of our favorite book series for teaching our children about heroes. 

We especially love the Torchlighters video series - even created a Sunday School class based around this great study of Christian heroes. 

Torchlighters 12-pack: The First 12 EpisodesHero Tales: A Family Treasury of True Stories From the Lives of Christian HeroesTrailblazer Missionaries & Medics Box Set 2 (Trailblazers)Trailblazer Evangelists & Pioneers Box Set 1 (Trailblazers)Eric Liddell: Running for a Higher Prize (Heroes for Young Readers)Corrie Ten Boom: Shining in the Darkness (Heroes for Young Readers)Gladys Aylward: Daring to Trust (Heroes for Young Readers)Nate Saint: Heavenbound (Heroes for Young Readers)Jim Elliot: A Light for God (Heroes for Young Readers)David Livingstone: Courageous Explorer (Heroes for Young Readers)C.S. Lewis: The Man Who Gave Us Narnia (Heroes for Young Readers)Hudson Taylor: Friend of China (Heroes for Young Readers)Mary Slessor: Courage in Africa (Heroes for Young Readers)Betty Greene: Flying High (Heroes for Young Readers)William Carey: Bearer of Good News (Heroes for Young Readers)Lottie Moon: A Generous Offering (Heroes for Young Readers)Ida Scudder: Healing in India (Heroes for Young Readers)Lightkeepers Boys Box Set: Ten BoysTen Boys Who Made a Difference (Lightkeepers)Ten Boys Who Changed the World (Lightkeepers)Lightkeepers Girls Box Set: Ten GirlsTen Girls Who Made a Difference (Lightkeepers)Christian Heroes Books 1-5 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 6-10 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 11-15 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 16-20 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Book 21-25 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Books 26-30 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Books 31-35 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes books 36-40 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)George Muller: Man of Faith and Miracles (Men of Faith)Eric Liddell (Men of Faith)Samuel Morris: The African Boy God Sent to Prepare an American University for Its Mission to the World (Men of Faith)

 

Family First

Perhaps I am preaching to the choir, but in an age where traditional schooling and so many other things seek to DIVIDE the family, it is imperative that we keep our children close to us. 

That old image of the one-room schoolhouse can be created in our modern homeschools. We can learn beautiful things simply and well. We can have our children spend the bulk of their times in OUR schoolhouse, with us as their primary influences. 

This brings it all back to my son learning about Alan Shepard. I found it so fitting that Alan Shephard paid tribute to his family and one-room schoolhouse experience. 

Teaching Children to Work Together

It's hard to swim upstream in our culture - it's not the most popular thing for teens to spend so much time with their families, but this is exactly when they SHOULD be spending the most time with them.  

The thought of children's peers raising them is absurd, yet what happens when children spend more time with those peers than they do with their own families?  It's something to think about.

 

In the end, we can rest knowing we are doing our part to educate and raise children who are inspired to work together for noble causes. We can rest knowing we have tried our very best to give our children truth, beauty, and goodness, access to role models, and most of all -- their FAMILIES.  

 

Can you share ways you help your children learn to work together?  


Teaching Children to Work Together (in an age where they see adults working against one another)

Homeschool Ignorance is Bliss

Not knowing is better than knowing and worrying.

I did NOT know fully about homeschooling when we started; that was a blessing.

Especially because we were coming from nearly four years experience in a public school setting, it's REALLY good I was ignorant. My life was about to be drastically altered, and I had no clue. We abandoned the ideal of public school and jumped into the homeschool world of the unknown!

I'm not writing this to scare prospective homeschool parents, but rather to say:

Please jump into homeschool with a good amount of faith. Know just enough to get started, but please trust God with the rest

 

Homeschool Ignorance is Bliss

*This post contains affiliate links.

Ignorance is bliss.

For most of us this is VERY difficult... I wanted to know answers to questions like:

  • Will my children be able to get into college?

  • How can I be sure there will be no "gaps" in their education?

  • Will they be lonely at home?

  • Will they wind up resenting me because I deprived them of traditional "school"?

  • Which math program will put my children on the best track for high school?

  • How am I going to make a transcript?

The list could go on and on.... I nearly drove myself mad before I had even started.

Now that I'm eight years into homeschooling I have learned SO MUCH.

I want to share 5 Truths with you.

But I won't share too much.

Or you might get scared.


Be prepared for your children to resist home education at first.

If they have been in traditional school for any length of time, homeschool will seem foreign. Your children won't know what to do with a lot of unstructured time. They might miss their friends.

It will take them time to RELAX and ditch the textbooks. It will take them time to trust you as their teacher. It will take them time to accept their new status as "homeschooled".

It might even take a whole year.

Don't lose heart. They will come around.

Be prepared for your children to possibly not perform well on standardized tests.

I wish someone would have told me just how SMART my kids would be. I'm not bragging, but their level of knowledge amazes me. 

That knowledge, however, isn't measure by a standardized test. As homeschoolers we don't teach to the test. We teach to our children.

A standardized test can't measure INTEREST. It can't measure creativity or self-motivation. It can't measure all of the reasons I decided to take my children out of school in the first place.

So, don't worry about it. Honestly, put it out of your mind. Have faith your children will be OK.

Forget about the test.

As my oldest is approaching college we will invest in some SAT/ACT prep classes.  We will take the tests a few times to determine where strengths and weaknesses are. 

I refuse, however, to tailor my children's education to THE TEST. 

 

Your family might be skeptical, critical, and distant - you will probably lose friends.

There is a very particular view some people have of homeschoolers. 

That stereotype unfortunately exists.  Homeschoolers don't fit in a box. Your family members will just have to figure this out in time.

Some people may openly question your choice of curriculum. They will ask you about sports, high school, prom, and socialization. They will tell you stories about homeschoolers they have "heard of". 

Homeschool Ignorance is bliss

Be prepared to be gracious. Smile, nod, and set about the business of proving them wrong.

In the mean time, stick close to the family that does support you. You really must put the negativity aside.

You aren't homeschooling to please your extended family. You are homeschooling because YOU are your child's best teacher and know what is best for them. 

I promise you - your relationship with your children will benefit in ENORMOUS ways from homeschooling. I cannot imagine what our lives would look like now had I sent my children away all day every day for school.  I am thankful for our closeness - and yes, even the struggles - because they have taught us so many valuable lessons.

You will probably lose some friends.

This one is so difficult. You know one of those new homeschool moms I was talking about earlier? She told me, "I'm so glad you warned me I might lose friends because guess what? I did." 

She told me this blinking back tears and I felt so badly for her. 

I have been there. Some friends won't understand your decision. Some friends (especially friends you had from school) will see your decision as a personal attack on their educational choice. Some friends might be hurt you don't have as much time for them. Some friends might WISH they could homeschool and feel guilty when they are around you.

Sometimes you might want to scream, "Stop Telling Me Why You Can't Homeschool!".

It's so cliche, but if they were really your friends before they will still be your friends when you homeschool. Your true friends support you no matter where your kids go to school. 

AND, you will make NEW friends. Some of my closest friends have been made in the past several years.

 

Homeschooling your children will expose every flaw and weakness you have.

And that's a GOOD thing. 

Children are Holy Sandpaper

I always remember a friend telling me children are "holy sandpaper". 

That they are.

When you are with your children 24/7, you get sanded a lot. You see yourself in them (and not always the good parts of yourself, either!) and being in such close relationship with your children can reveal so much about parents and children.

It will allow you for personal growth you never imagined possible.

Homeschooling will show you just how impatient you are.

My patience has been tried so very many times (in fact - multiple times a day). I'm NOT a patient person, but I pray for patience, ask forgiveness, and face each day knowing God walks with me. 

I have reached the point now where when I blow it with my kids (which is usually multiple times a week!) it is easy to ask for their forgiveness... and they are humbly asking for forgiveness when they blow it, too.  

Homeschooling doesn't mean you are the perfect mother who loves her kids more than the next mother. It doesn't mean you have been gifted with super academic abilities or extraordinary patience. 

It just means you are obeying the call to educate your kids at home and you are trying the best you know how! 

 

Your priorities will shift in ENORMOUS ways.

I've had to say NO to so much so that I can give my children 100% of my attention during the day. 

I think if I had been given a glimpse of what my life would look like now before I started to homeschool I might not have done it! 

You see - it is all about FAITH, and my faith has grown in a HUGE way since we began this journey. I think this is just what God intended for my family and itt just took me some time to LISTEN to Him and obey the call.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  ~Matthew 6:34

 

If you are contemplating the homeschooling life, please don't investigate it TOO much. Remember, a certain amount of ignorance is bliss. Prepare yourself - yes - but trust God with the bulk of it. He will work it all out for good.

I am beyond thankful for the huge priority shift that has gone on in my life because of homeschooling.  

 

Downloaded my FREE eBook:

You CAN Homeschool

It's my gift to you, because I know you can do this! 

 


Over the years the following books have been helpful for encouragement and practical ideas.  

The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home (Fourth Edition)A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on The Gentle Art of Learning(TM)For the Children's Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and SchoolTeaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable PeaceWhen Children Love to Learn: A Practical Application of Charlotte Mason's Philosophy for TodayThe Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and BecomingEducating the WholeHearted Child -- Third EditionA Charlotte Mason Education: A Home Schooling How-To ManualThe Core: Teaching Your Child the Foundations of Classical EducationThe Homeschool Experiment, a NovelPocketful of Pinecones: Nature Study With the Gentle Art of Learning(TM) : A Story for Mother Culture ®Lessons at Blackberry Inn: Adventures with the Gentle Art of Learning(TM)Homeschooling 101: A Guide to Getting Started.How Children Learn (Classics in Child Development)Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book Of HomeschoolingInstead of Education: Ways to Help People do Things BetterDumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling, 10th Anniversary EditionWeapons of Mass Instruction: A Schoolteacher's Journey Through the Dark World of Compulsory Schooling

 


What is something you think you'd have been better off not knowing before you started homeschooling?

Homeschool Ignorance is Bliss - 5 Things You are Better Not Knowing