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Homeschooling: When Being Normal Looks Weird

Have you ever felt like you are the only "normal" one left?

Are you maybe the only one in your family who educates their children at home?  Are you the only homeschoolers in your church? Maybe you are the only ones in your community. 

When you abandon the ideal of traditional education you veer into (what is perceived by others) as weird territory? 

Sometimes I have just thrown my hands up to my husband and said, "Are we the only NORMAL ones left?"

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

Have you ever felt like you are the only "normal" one left?

Are you maybe the only one in your family who homeschools?  Are you the only homeschoolers in your church? Maybe you are the only ones in your community. 

Sometimes I have just thrown my hands up to my husband and said, "Are we the only NORMAL ones left?"

At our very first  Great Homeschool Convention, we listened to a panel of Classical educators moderated by Andrew Kern.

A story was told by Martin Cothran that went something like this (I'm paraphrasing here, but you will get the general idea.):

In Australia there was a rugby match where all of the players were naked.   In the middle of the game, a fully clothed spectator went running across the field.  

Sometimes it seems as if WE, as homeschoolers, are that fully clothed spectator.  

Everyone on that field looks a certain way - and then we run across looking DIFFERENT. 

We get the feeling that being the only normal one left is weird, but as individuals who are convicted to home educate we must stay the course and do what we know is best for our own children.

After all, this new "normal" of compulsory schooling and assembly line education hasn't been around all that long. Educating your children at home used to be the way things were done.

Thinking deep thoughts about worthy ideals used to be in vogue. Reading REAL books used to be the norm. 

You get the point...

 

This story hit home with my husband and I at the convention. 

It really hit home, however, just a few days later.

In a series of unrelated events, we received criticism of our choice to homeschool (directly and indirectly). 

We were LONG past caring what others think of our decision to homeschool. After many years of doing this we KNOW this is the best path for our children, just as a parent that sends their child to school knows the best path for their child. 

After all, we shouldn't  do things to please others. We do not believe in conforming to the world.

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

I didn't realize just how far we had evolved in our thinking until just recently. I was put in a position to articulate why we homeschool to a critic. After all, I consider myself a homeschool ambassador. 

I tried to pepper my words with grace and a remembrance of the time when I didn't quite understand why in the world someone would want to HOMESCHOOL. 

People criticize what they don't know or understand, and sometimes what intimidates or threatens them. 

When someone takes the time to criticize our decision as homeschoolers it tells me they either have too much time on their hands, or are woefully uninformed. I know, because this was once the way I behaved.

So my friends, the next time that neighbor, family member, or "friend" criticizes you (either to your face or behind your back), please remember the naked rugby tournament.

The next time you hear things like:

"Their children are so sheltered they won't be prepared for the real world. How are they going to learn to relate to other kids their own age? "

 

"You don't let your kids watch cable?"

 

"Do you really LIKE homeschooling?" (I actually got that one once.)

or (my personal favorite)

"Aren't you depriving the world of what your child has to offer?"

 - please remember what you are doing takes courage, sacrifice, and an obedience many people do not understand.

When I look at this picture, I remember a time  when we were at a crossroads. 

myreasons.png

My daughter had been crammed into the historically under-served "middle" in her public school classroom. Her once enthusiastic learning spirit had been squashed little by little. She didn't want to go to school because of a few mean girls in her class. She was only allowed to choose books from a certain shelf in the library because they were at her "reading level" (I knew she could read harder material, but they didn't give her the chance.). 

My son was thriving in a four year old preschool program at our church. I was literally sick thinking about putting him in public school Kindergarten and watching him go through the same equalization process. He was so very bright and precocious, too - if he didn't get a very patient, loving teacher he would probably spend the entire year in time out. 

Words from my time in graduate school for Educational Leadership kept ringing in my head:

"Schools are built for the adults that work in them, not the children."

Someone suggested I read Weapons of Mass Instruction.

That is when we just knew we had to make a change. 

We needed to return to NORMAL.  

I wish I would have known then what I do know about choosing to homeschool.

It isn't our job to make the critics understand; it is our job to raise these precious souls that have been entrusted to us in the best way we know how.

What we are doing by home educating our children is so normal it just appears weird.

My favorite scripture during these times of criticism is James 1: 2-4:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I like to meditate on these verses often. They keep me grounded and thankful. 

We are running a most worthy race, and if we persevere, we will lack nothing.

Remember - it's ok to look "weird" - you know you're really NORMAL. 


You CAN Homeschool

I've written an eBook chock full of encouragement, helpful advice, and so much more -- these are words from a former public school teacher, administrator, and parent. These words are born out of a need to help other parents in their homeschool endeavors.

This is our journey to being WEIRD.

I pray it blesses you.

Download the FREE eBook:


I'd love to hear your story about being WEIRD.

 Leave it for me in the comments below!

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Let's assume you and your child are confident in the decision to homeschool high school. That's a big step. 

Give yourself a pat on the back.  (and ignore everyone who keeps telling you they could NEVER homeschool high school!)

You are homeschooling high school so your child can pursue their passions and become their own unique self. You are homeschooling high school because you don't want all of the horrible social pressures traditional high school can bring. You are homeschooling high school to give your child something MORE - something BEAUTIFUL - something tailored to THEIR NEEDS.

Somewhere along the line, however, your child (and YOU) lose the wonder in homeschool. You're checking off boxes and meeting college entrance requirements.  Somewhere along the line you forgot  these four years are about EDUCATION, not SCHOOLING.  

Somewhere along the line you lost YOUR vision for high school and adopted someone else's. 

This happened in our homeschool, and I want to tell you how (and why) we're making a big change.

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

The Blissful Early Years of Homeschool (aka "The Wonder Years")

My oldest had a wonder-filled homeschool experience in the elementary grades.  

We have so many fond memories of our days using the Five in a Row curriculum - days where we would take nature walks, bake pies, read aloud, and spend hours and hours lost in an art project.

Then there were the years where The Story of the World was our guide . Wonderful read-alouds, notebooking, and hands-on projects were the staples of our days.

If there was a science topic my daughter was interested in we would research it and find a fun lapbook.

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Those were GOOD days. My daughter learned so much and she LOVED learning. 

We were so far from what a typical "classroom" looked like, but it didn't matter because I knew there was an abundance of education happening in and out of our home. 

The stakes were low in elementary school and I knew we had several years to just soak it all in. 


And Then... Middle School

As we got into middle school, adolescence hit - motivation decreased and we needed more accountability and motivation.  

These were the years we visited a couple private schools and investigated ALL of our education options. I wondered if I could keep homeschooling through this stage of life. I wondered if my relationship with my daughter could survive it. 

Have you been there?

Ultimately, we chose the CC Challenge program  in the 7th and 8th grade years - it was an excellent fit for us.  (You can read all about our time in Challenge A and B if you'd like.) The "seriousness" of our homeschool was taken up a notch and I felt  we were getting the guidance and direction we needed for those years. 

Throughout these years my daughter was showing a natural bent towards music (she played the piano and sang in a large children's chorus). She loved volunteering at a local preschool. She was showing some interest in the special needs ministry at our church.  

I won't tell you these years were easy, because they weren't.  But, I know this time around (as my son approaches 7th grade this year) that these changes are NORMAL - I don't take things so personally, and I am well aware of the turmoil that occurs in children during these years. 

As we moved toward  high school we had a few doubts about continuing with the Challenge program, but because we had been pleased in Challenge A and B and also because it is just such a beautiful curriculum, we forged ahead and committed to the Challenge years for high school.

I had a nagging feeling that we should maybe step away from Challenge and return our interest led routes, but in all honesty I was fearful: fearful about how I was going to transcript high school, fearful about college admissions, and fearful about how we would compare to everyone else.

(I confronted this fear I had --- even writing a blog post about it -- and felt equipped to tackle the future.)


Homeschool High School: Why MY Plan Didn't Work

My daughter 9th grade year -- Challenge I -- was a year rich in American history, music theory, personal finance, and all of the beautiful things Challenge I had to offer.  Her tutor that year was truly a gift and invested a great deal in each student. It was a GOOD year, but I noticed that WONDER of learning was fading.

I assumed this was just part of being a teenager. 

I began to notice my daughter  spending A LOT of time doing her schoolwork. She didn't have time that year to volunteer at the preschool. Her piano practice suffered. While I knew she was learning a lot of valuable information, I had the nagging feeling we were losing what made Anna uniquely "Anna" in the process.

Once again, I assumed this was just what would happen - it was a natural part of growing up, a natural part of the high school years. 

As we made the decision for schooling in 10th grade we decided once again to enroll in Challenge (this time Challenge II) -- most of the children in her group were moving up and it seemed like the logical choice. This was our trajectory for high school.

Somewhere along the line I had stopped listening to what my daughter wanted and and started listening to what other wanted.png

It was settled.

Anna's 10th grade year in Challenge II was full of beautiful subject matter,  but extremely literature intensive. She had always been my child who loved to read, but the volume and intensity of the British Literature in Challenge II virtually killed her love of reading. 

I told myself this was probably normal and that she would love reading again one day (or would she?) .

I loved that Anna was learning Latin (we had invested in the Memoria Press online Henle Latin classes and she was doing well - having completed Latin I and Latin II) - but she didn't like Latin and was begging me to take sign language.

Another big thing  she WANTED was more of a regular classroom experience. In a very mature thought, she told me if she was accountable to a teacher she would be happier. She longed to have traditional grades and assignments. My normally shy, reserved child (who doesn't like new situations) was requesting to try something NEW.  

While she did learn a lot in her 10th grade year,  we strove to keep her involved in the things she loved. These loves, however, were always on the fringes of her "education". She was having to fit them in AFTER her regular school work.

As Anna and I sat and talked in the middle of the year, we started contemplating stepping away from Challenge so she could make those LOVES her education. She didn't feel a connection to her education. Somewhere along the line we had lost the wonder, and we BOTH agreed we wanted it back. 

Somewhere along the line I had stopped listening to what my daughter wanted and started listening to what others said. 

Please don't misunderstand - she learned MANY valuable things in her Challenge years. She is well read, articulate, and well versed in the fine arts. She has a good understanding of Latin and geography. She understands how everything is connected and how God is a part of everything. She can debate skillfully and carry on a beautiful conversation. 

There was a definite time and place for her Challenge education.  I know many wonderful young people that have schooled all the way through high school with Challenge. It just isn't the plan for us, so we can step away and make a new plan - and that's the beauty of homeschool.

God orchestrates everything for a reason, so I cannot look back and wonder why we made the choices we made.

All I could do was honor my daughter's request for her final high school years. 

The "Plan" for 11th Grade

Once the decision was made to NOT return to Challenge III for 11th grade, it seemed like a huge weight was lifted from all of us.

She still needed the required credits for graduation, but we could go about them in a more flexible way.

Anna and I sat down with the high school graduation requirements and also the Music Therapy entrance requirements at a college here in Georgia (Anna would REALLY like to pursue Music Therapy.)

She decided she needed to start learning to play guitar (in addition to piano) to prepare her for Music Therapy. We found a FABULOUS guitar teacher who has done such beautiful things with Anna. She was thrilled that I honored her request to learn guitar - and she has done so much in just a few months! (This is my reserved child that vowed she would never sing alone in front of people.)

 

She wants to volunteer at a local school for children with special needs.

In speaking to a few college admissions offices I knew that a mixture of AP and dual enrollment classes are a good idea. I started to gain confidence about us designing a junior year that would be rigorous, yet interest led and more full of wonder for Anna.

So, what does this schedule for the coming year look like?

  • AP European History  (taken through HSLDA Academy)
  • AP Language & Composition (taken through Memoria Press Online Academy)
  • Pre-Calculus & Trigonometry (taken through Mr. D Math) OR Dual Enrollment College Math
  • Chemistry (taken through a local Classical school)
  • Sign Language (taken through a local homeschool academy)
  • Guitar and piano
  • Volunteer work with a special needs club & music ministry and babysitting

 

Now that we are in the summer before 11th grade, I see a big change in my daughter. Her delight and love of learning have returned. She has her nose stuck in a book again. She's keeping a practice schedule for her piano and guitar, even though it's summer. 

I believe she has been freed up to be herself  once I removed MY PLAN from her education. 


My Advice (For What It's Worth) For Homeschooling High School

My advice to you is this:  

Listen to your child.

Listen to your heart.

Pray.

Pray some more.

Make yourself aware of all of the education options, but please don't be swayed by accreditation. I'm finding being unaccredited actually helps a child stand out during the college admissions process. 

Sit down with your child and map out all of the credits they will need. Give them a hand in planning their high school years. Make sure it includes what they love to do. Ensure you are giving them opportunities to shine. 

Seek opportunities for other adults to build into your child. 

If your child is the type that needs accountability, make sure they have it. 

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Remind yourself of WHY you started homeschooling in the first place. There is no need to compromise during the home stretch of your journey.  There is always a way to work things out if you and your child desire to homeschool.

ENJOY the process. Spend a lot of time with your child - because whether you think so or not, they really crave your attention. 

Most importantly, NEVER forget your child's heart.

As I look back on all of the stages of homeschool each one has its highs and lows. Now that we're approaching the end of high school I'm thankful I get to hang out with a really cool kid - a precious gift from God that has been entrusted to me for a short time.

 


So, that's our story.  So many of you have written asking about this. I hope it's answered your questions.

 

Talk to me about your homeschool high school journey. How is it going?

 

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder