What Has Made Me A Better Person

 Today one of the loves of my life turns seven...

It really does seem like just yesterday that I was pregnant with a little boy (I already had a 3 year old daughter at this point), on bedrest because of preterm labor, and then delivering six weeks early ~  it was a very stressful and scary delivery (not to mention my doctor said to me, "I wouldn't advise you do this again." ~ which is hard to hear at age 33).  Once he was here I suffered postpartum depression (I'd always heard about it, but you never how dark and lonely life can be until you've experienced it); not just the baby blues, but a full blown depression.  I had never experienced ANYTHING like it in my life. 

It took almost six months before I really recovered from everything. (not to mention we moved and I had to start over with friends, church - EVERYTHING)   I look back and am sad at the time  I lost, but I also look back and see how many WONDERFUL memories I have with this precious little boy, and how many more I have to come!  

 I also know that God comes to us when we are on our knees, and He gives us trials to make us STRONGER.   When I look at my little boy I see SO MUCH MORE than just a child.  I see a time in my life (and another person) that made me a better person.  

   Don't you love his eyebrow and how part of it is just GONE?   Yes, that would be the day he shaved it off.  I think I started getting gray hair that day. 

 But, oh how cute he was (and still is!)... he has always been snuggly and lovable.   I have to struggle with not giving him everything he wants.  He is my WEAKNESS.

Not a day goes by that I don't realize what a blessing it is to be his mother, or what a tremendous gift God has given his dad and I.

As he has grown and changed I've learned to appreciate each new stage.  He always has hugs and kisses for his mom.  He recently told me if his wife didn't want to live with me he just wouldn't get married. He wants to drive a blue pick up truck and buy his wife a pink cell phone.   He thinks it will be nice to stay at home while his wife goes out and gets a job.  I'll be interested to see if this plans works out for him!

When I found out he was going to be a boy I was terrified.  I had only been a mother to a girl and I wondered how I would do the whole "boy" thing.   A good friend told me boys are a mother's joy.  She was RIGHT.

Before we homeschooled I had a lot of time with just GMan - his sister was in elementary school and he was in a sweet Christian preschool.  We had A LOT of time together and I cherish those days.

It seems like one day when I wasn't even looking he started to grow up.  He lost the little boy chubbiness and started turning into a big person.   I think he's the spitting image of his father, actually.

His two passions in life are baseball and Legos.   He has an amazing attention span and is good at long projects.   I think he's very bright.  Of course, I know every mother thinks that about their children.   

I'm not so scared of being the mother of a boy anymore.  In fact, I rather like it!  I love how he lets me experience the world in a physical way.  I love how he lets a lot of things slide off his back.   I love the way most any problem can be solved by lots of playing outside.

 He's a silly boy, and I love that about him.  He shows me that it's ok to be silly sometimes, too.  In fact, I think God gave him to me to LIGHTEN ME UP!

The day I watched him playing baseball on Turner Field (home of The Atlanta Braves), I just watched and cried.  He was living his dream, and he also made sure to turn around and blow me a kiss.   It's times like that I just wish I could STOP THE CLOCK.

But I can't stop the clock.  He keeps getting bigger and bigger.  My husband turns off his growth switch at night, but God turns it right back on again!   He's lost five teeth and he's reading big chapter books.  He's doing so much by himself now.  And that's the goal, isn't it?  ~ To work myself out of a job? (one day)  

Happy Seventh Birthday, GMan.  Sometimes the love I have for you makes me feel like I could just explode.  I want to hold you tight and stop you from growing any more.   But, I know God has BIG plans for you.  You are such a gift to your dad and I, and I can't wait to see what you do in this big, wide world!