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Teaching Children to Work Together

Here is the reality of life in America today: 

We are too caught up in being against something rather than being FOR something. 

Hence, we are living in a society where many have forgotten how to put their self interest aside and simply work together.

All it takes is a quick scan of Facebook and you will see people ranting about what they are AGAINST. 

This morning, as part of a math lesson about scale, my son constructed a model of Freedom 7 - which carried Alan Shepard into space.

Because he is also taking an astronomy class and our science focus this year is space, he was very interested in this - so we fell down a rabbit hole watching videos about the first American in space.

In an interview, Alan Shepard's daughter said her dad never said anything was HARD...he would only say it was a challenge. She also spoke about the competition between the 7 astronauts to be the first to go into space for their country, and when her dad was chosen the others were proud of him and all competition ceased. They all worked toward one goal for the benefit of their country.

After this video ended my son looked and me and said "too bad our country isn't like that any more."

Wow. Profound from a perceptive 12 year old.

I wasn't sure whether to be proud of his observation or saddened by the truth of it - I guess I am both.  This observation, however, just spurs me on to be the best homeschooling parent I can be. 

How do we raise children that have that Alan Shepard spirit?  How do we raise children that want to work  TOGETHER for something beautiful, good, and truthful, rather than simply shout from the rooftops how unfair life is and how upset they are?

 

Teaching Children to Work Together (in an age where they see adults working against one another)

This is why we homeschool.  

We cannot abdicate the development of our children to anyone else. 

We have an amazing opportunity to develop a sense of fairness, justice, and compassion in our children -- for them to really ACT on these ideas, not just protest about them.  We have an opportunity to raise young men and women who will influence the coming generations in untold ways. 

We have an opportunity to raise humble people who look first to the interests of others, rather than themselves.

It is IMPORTANT.  It is a way to change the world. 

I am optimistic for the future and the leaders we are training in our homeschools! 

So, let's talk about what we can actually DO.

 

Is It True, Beautiful, and Good?

As Classical homeschoolers this is our mantra, but it applies to everything in life.

Does everything you are providing for your children pass the truth, beauty, and goodness litmus test?  Really think about this one.  (I mean, REALLY think about it.)

Teaching Children to Work Together

Think about the following things - are you striving to give your children only the most true, beautiful, and good things in the following areas? 

  • literature
  • music
  • art
  • media
  • entertainment
  • relationships

I don't buy the argument that we can't shelter our children from the world. Oh yes, we can, and I believe it is my responsibility to do so. 

Giving a child free reign of technology, media, and other adult things is not only developmentally inappropriate, it also assumes so very little of them.  I get that it's much easier to plop your child down in front of the Disney Channel rather than come up with a few independent activities for them to do in place of watching television, but this is what we must do to keep truth, beauty, and goodness first in their lives.

(As always, I'm writing this post as a reminder to myself. I'm still a work in progress.)

As you go about your day with your children, ask yourself if what you are doing promotes truth, beauty and goodness.  You might be very surprised by the answer.

This book is currently on my nightstand - looking forward to delving into learning more about truth, beauty and goodness.

 

Seek Mentors

A tremendous benefit to homeschooling is that we can seek out mentors for our children (and sometimes ourselves, too!).  You would be amazed at the number of WILLING adults who are happy to build into our children's lives. 

I have been intentional about placing adults in my children's lives that will build into, support, and encourage them. 

I've had two aunts and a  friend teach my daughter to quilt - and in the process impart some beautiful life lessons. 

Currently, my daughter is working with a woman in our church who heads a special needs ministry. Anna is able to learn so much and is forming a bond with another adult (who isn't her parent!). 

Most recently my husband and son (and several of their friends) have been learning the ancient art of forging from a dear man in our church. This man is teaching many local boys the art of forging. They are making crosses to distribute all over the world, and in the process he imparts his faith, life lessons, and so much more. 

Seeking mentors for our children: learning the ancient art of forging

You can look for mentors within your church, your homeschool community - anywhere, really!  If you see someone who is doing something you would like to have your children learn, ask them if they would be willing to teach them. You might be surprised at the reaction you will get!

 

Finding Mentors for our Children

Provide Examples from the Past

Reading aloud to our children about heroes from the past is such a powerful way to teach them about mightiness, working together, and heroic and noble qualities. 

Now that my children are older we don't read aloud quite as much, but I do give them hero books to read on a regular basis.  

I've written about how to teach your children about heroes of the Christian faith. Included below are also some of our favorite book series for teaching our children about heroes. 

We especially love the Torchlighters video series - even created a Sunday School class based around this great study of Christian heroes. 

Torchlighters 12-pack: The First 12 EpisodesHero Tales: A Family Treasury of True Stories From the Lives of Christian HeroesTrailblazer Missionaries & Medics Box Set 2 (Trailblazers)Trailblazer Evangelists & Pioneers Box Set 1 (Trailblazers)Eric Liddell: Running for a Higher Prize (Heroes for Young Readers)Corrie Ten Boom: Shining in the Darkness (Heroes for Young Readers)Gladys Aylward: Daring to Trust (Heroes for Young Readers)Nate Saint: Heavenbound (Heroes for Young Readers)Jim Elliot: A Light for God (Heroes for Young Readers)David Livingstone: Courageous Explorer (Heroes for Young Readers)C.S. Lewis: The Man Who Gave Us Narnia (Heroes for Young Readers)Hudson Taylor: Friend of China (Heroes for Young Readers)Mary Slessor: Courage in Africa (Heroes for Young Readers)Betty Greene: Flying High (Heroes for Young Readers)William Carey: Bearer of Good News (Heroes for Young Readers)Lottie Moon: A Generous Offering (Heroes for Young Readers)Ida Scudder: Healing in India (Heroes for Young Readers)Lightkeepers Boys Box Set: Ten BoysTen Boys Who Made a Difference (Lightkeepers)Ten Boys Who Changed the World (Lightkeepers)Lightkeepers Girls Box Set: Ten GirlsTen Girls Who Made a Difference (Lightkeepers)Christian Heroes Books 1-5 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 6-10 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 11-15 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now) (Displays and Gift Sets)Christian Heroes Books 16-20 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Book 21-25 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Books 26-30 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes Books 31-35 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)Christian Heroes books 36-40 Gift Set (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)George Muller: Man of Faith and Miracles (Men of Faith)Eric Liddell (Men of Faith)Samuel Morris: The African Boy God Sent to Prepare an American University for Its Mission to the World (Men of Faith)

 

Family First

Perhaps I am preaching to the choir, but in an age where traditional schooling and so many other things seek to DIVIDE the family, it is imperative that we keep our children close to us. 

That old image of the one-room schoolhouse can be created in our modern homeschools. We can learn beautiful things simply and well. We can have our children spend the bulk of their times in OUR schoolhouse, with us as their primary influences. 

This brings it all back to my son learning about Alan Shepard. I found it so fitting that Alan Shephard paid tribute to his family and one-room schoolhouse experience. 

Teaching Children to Work Together

It's hard to swim upstream in our culture - it's not the most popular thing for teens to spend so much time with their families, but this is exactly when they SHOULD be spending the most time with them.  

The thought of children's peers raising them is absurd, yet what happens when children spend more time with those peers than they do with their own families?  It's something to think about.

 

In the end, we can rest knowing we are doing our part to educate and raise children who are inspired to work together for noble causes. We can rest knowing we have tried our very best to give our children truth, beauty, and goodness, access to role models, and most of all -- their FAMILIES.  

 

Can you share ways you help your children learn to work together?  


Teaching Children to Work Together (in an age where they see adults working against one another)

How to Talk to Kids About Puberty

I don't know about you, but I wasn't given much information when I was going through puberty. 

In fact, I vividly remember thinking that a woman could become pregnant by simply eating a certain combination of foods!  (I think this stemmed from seeing "The Pregnancy Diet" in one of my mother's magazines.)

It's been important for me to give my children accurate information about puberty, sex, and all of the things surrounding this pre-teen/teen stage of life -- information that is grounded in Biblical truth and doesn't leave anything out.

It is also important to start EARLY -- I think as early as 8 or 9 -- so that our children don't get curious and go hunting for this information in places that haven't been vetted by their parents!

Now that we've gone through this with both a girl and a boy, there are some favorite resources my husband and I have used to guide our children through this pivotal time in their lives. 

These are the resources that have proven helpful in our home. It isn't the ONLY way to teach your children about puberty and sexuality - just what has worked for us.  I hope the resources are helpful to you as you guide your sons and daughters on their journey to becoming men and women! 

How to Talk to Kids About Puberty

Puberty Resources For Boys & Girls

Having a trusted resource that explains changes in boys and girls has been SO helpful in our house... it helps brothers and sisters understand what is going on with each other.  Especially for a little brother, it can explain sometimes why his sister (and mom!) act a bit goofy once a month!

By far, the favorite books we have come across from Trish & Luke Gilkerson. They approach puberty and sexuality in such a straightforward, Biblical manner. 

Each lesson in the book we did first (7 Lesson to Introduce Your Children to Biblical Sexuality) is geared for boys AND girls - so if your child is wondering about the opposite sex all of the questions are answered. 

Scripture precedes each of the seven lessons, and directly relates to Biblical sexuality. 

The other books by the Gilkersons are:

Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty

Relationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality

What I appreciate the most about all of these books is that it gives the parents an introduction, and then each lesson is 100% scripted - and written so that our children are engaged and talking. I wish I had known about these when my daughter was this age!  

These books have made it EASY for my husband and me to talk with our son about puberty.

Because, let's face it, sometimes we - THE PARENTS - can be reticent about this subject.


Puberty Resources for Girls

She who does not make the world better for having lived in it has failed to be all that woman should be.
— Karen Andreola - Beautiful Girlhood

 

When my daughter was very young, we set up date nights in my bedroom, made tea, and read Beautiful Girlhood aloud. This set the stage for changes that would occur in the coming years. This book is sweet and old fashioned, setting forth the ideals of girl and womanhood.

We followed this up with the Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood - a more focused and interactive Bible study for the two of us. 

The next in the series, Beyond Beautiful Girlhood, is all about keeping a home and womanhood -- not in sexual terms, but in terms of womanhood.  VERY good.

Sharing these books are all sweet ways to spend time with our girls and bring them into the fold of what it means to be a beautiful girl - and eventually a woman.  It is with great fondness that I look back on these times spent with my daughter.

 

 

 

As my daughter got a bit older she was naturally curious about the changes that were going on in her body. I purchased a couple of the American Girl books for her.  We read them together, and I then I gave her the books to keep in her room and read again at her leisure.  (I think she read these books DOZENS of times!)

These books are not written from a Biblical perspective, but they do give accurate information that when shared by me, I feel very comfortable using. 

The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls

The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls

Feelings: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions

Is This Normal: More Girls' Questions

 

All of these resources are wonderful, but if they aren't used in conjunction with open dialogue and spending TIME with your girls, they won't be effective.  


Puberty Resources for Boys

It's been a blessing for my son to have a father who is willing to spend time with him and talk to him a lot during this time of his life. They have "fire pit chats" where they discuss manly things... but it's also very helpful to have some books on hand to aid the discussions.

If every dad would read Raising a Modern Day Knight, I think our boys would be in great shape to become men.  It helps fathers to instruct their sons in Biblical, chivalrous manhood.

I've also loved Bringing Up Boys - given to me as a gift when I found out I was pregnant with my son.  

For a read aloud together with your son, try Boyhood and Beyond

Other books that will be good resources for our boys include:

The Boy's Body Book

It's Great to Be a Guy!

It's Perfectly Normal

 

Sons are looking for the substance of life. As I hope to prove, they hunger for the best things. In the absence of these anchors, sons drift. But when loving dads add these into the manhood mix, their sons flourish. They become noble men, gentle men, men of valor, principled men, knights.
— Robert Lewis - Raising a Modern-Day Knight

The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical SexualityChanges: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of PubertyRelationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical SexualityBeautiful GirlhoodThe Companion Guide to Beautiful GirlhoodBeyond Beautiful Girlhood Plus Companion GuideThe Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised EditionThe Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older GirlsThe Care and Keeping of You Journal (Revised): for Younger Girls (American Girl)The Feelings Book (Revised): The Care and Keeping of Your EmotionsIs This Normal (Revised): MORE Girls' Questions, Answered by the Editors of The Care & Keeping of YouThe Care and Keeping of You 2 Journal (American Girl)Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic ManhoodBringing Up BoysBoyhood and BeyondThe Boy's Body Book: Third Edition: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up YOUIt's Great to Be a Guy!: God Has a Plan for You...and Your Body!It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library)

 


I hope this list has been helpful.

What ideas do you have for talking to our kids about puberty?  Share them in the comments below!  We are stronger as a community, sharing our ideas and supporting each other.

How to Talk to Kids About Puberty